2.04 - Chuck Versus the Cougars
Original Airdate: October 20, 2008Written By: Allison Adler
Directed By: Patrick Norris
Description: Chuck is elated to meet classmates of Sarah's from high school, though it leaves Sarah's cover in jeopardy. Matters are further complicated when Chuck experiences a flash that makes it necessary for them to attend Sarah's class reunion. Lester's management skills leave the Buy More in ruins.
Quotes
Chuck: You know, you don't need to keep buying stuff for cover since you're in here all the time.
Chuck: Oh wow. I can't believe I'm this close to an actual DU97. Frion cooled, reconfigurable thirty teraflub arcitecture with modules for cryptanalysis and video processing. She's so beautiful!
Heather: I know you. And I never forget a face.
Sarah: Maybe I just have one of those familiar faces.
Heather: That's not it. I know you.
Sarah: I tried my hand at acting a while back.
Heather: It'll come to me.
Sarah: I was on a national television commercial, I ate a messy cheeseburger. Maybe that's it.
Heather: I know exactly who you are! We went to high school together!
Sarah: What?
Heather: Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me you're name, I'll get it. I never forget a face. You look so different now! For the better, I mean.
Sarah: Oh I'm sure you have me confused with-
Heather: Jenny! That's it, Jenny Burton!
Chuck: Jenny Burton?!
Heather: Heather Chandler! Well, Heather Ratner now. I married Mark Ratner. James Buchanan High, class of '98, go Cougars!
Heather: I'm Heather. We all went to high school together.
Chuck: Come on! Of all the semi-tart, Asian influenced forzen yogurt shops in all the towns in all the worlds, you walked into hers!
Big Mike: I want you to give Lester the same respect you give me. When you look at him, I want you to see Big Mike and not some scrawny ass Indian kid with a Bay City Rollers hairdo.
Casey: It's not the kid's fault you went to high school with a treasonous scumbag.
Chuck: Hey buddy, what's going on?
Morgan: Lester's new sales policy. We're giving away merchandise.
Chuck: That's gonna end badly.
Morgan: I know. I know, Chuck. That's part of the fun.
Chuck: Tonight I'll be playing the role of Jenny's boyfriend Chuck. He works at the Buy More not living up to his potential. Sister is Ellie, doctor engaged to a doctor. There, all up the speed on Jenny's booyfriend. Your turn!
Sarah: I'm not doing this.
Chuck: Okay, here's what we know so far. Jenny Burton went to James Buchanan High School in San Diego, California, class of 1998. Is it safe to assume that Jenny is a diminutive of Jennifer?
Sarah: Back off, Chuck! You have as much information as is pertinent to this assignment.
Chuck: So Jenny with an I or-
Sarah: All Jenny's boyfriend needs to know is that Jenny hates questions about her past!
Mark: Actually, what I'm working on is top secret.
Heather: And let's keep it that way since no one gives a rip.
Chuck: You know when you're kids and there's always that fun house where all the kids hang out? Would you say that was Jenny's house/condo/apartment?
Sarah: Go check on Chuck.
Casey: If you promise not to filet her before I get back.
Sarah: I can't promise anything.
Russian Thug: So, what do you know?
Chuck: I don't know anything, I just came in to do my little boy business.
Chuck: Bullies are a lot like bears, they're a lot more afraid of you than you are of them. Or is that bees?
[When he sees Casey.]
Mark: Wait. You're a waiter from the restaurant. Man, we really screwed you on the tip.
Morgan: Listen, everybody! We are up excrement creek without a paddle!
Chuck: Brought you a present.
Sarah: Well, it's not my birthday.
Chuck: Ooh, one down, three hundred sixty-four and a quarter possibilities to go!
[Chuck sees Sarah's high school photo.]
Chuck: Wow! It's not that bad. It's not that bad.
Chuck: Remember, the only difference between high school and high school reunion is that you don't get suspended for being drunk.
Chuck: Duffy! I just flashed on Duffy! What, did you go to Bad Guy High?
Lester: Pizza fingers off the merchandise over there, please!
Chuck: You know what, Mark? Sometimes the nerd gets the girl.
[Sarah knocks out Dick Duffy.]
Casey: Well, we know he's a perv but not a perp.
Sarah: Yeah, sorry, working out some childhood issues.
[A partygoer is dancing with Norman, Big Mike's Marlin.]
Lester: Give him to me.
Partygoer: Forget it, get your own fish.
[Sarah fights with Heather.]
Sarah: Your name has been at the top of my list of people who need a good ass kicking!
Heather: You should have been suspicious of me right on! I mean, why would a girl like me ever fall for a nerd like him!
Sarah: You'd be surprised!
Chuck: I'm glad I'm not the one who has to tell Ratner about his wife's involvement in all of this.
Casey: That's why love is for suckers.
Chuck: Hey, have you seen Sarah anywhere?
Casey: Sucker.
[Chuck hands Sarah a raw hamburger patty for her sore eye.]
Sarah: Isn't that supposed to be a raw steak?
Chuck: Not on a Buy More salary, thank you very much. I did, however, scrap together enough cash to get you a cooked one as well. Medium rare with-
Chuck and Sarah: Extra pickles.
Chuck: Come on, who do you think you're dealing with here?
Sarah: Well, I never doubted you, Special Agent Charles Carmichael.
Chuck: So I guess the big secret about you is that you used to be a typical high school student. Wish I knew what happened to change that.
Graham: Nice toss.
Sarah: Who are you?
Graham: I'm the man who put your father in prison. The question is, who are you? In San Diego you go buy Jenny Burton. In Wisconsin it's Katie O'Connell. In Cleveland it's Rebecca Franco. The funny thing is, when I looked at your birth certificate it's-
Sarah: I get your point, what do you want?
Graham: Your father scammed some pretty dangerous people. I saved his life by putting him in jail.
Sarah: Well, don't expect a thank you note.
Graham: I can save your life too.
[She puts her hands out for the handcuffs.]
Graham: No, not that way. Your dad trained you pretty well. The CIA can do even better. You like names so much. What do you think about Sarah Walker?
Sarah: Okay, fine, I'll answer one question about my past. You've earned that much.
Chuck: Hmm. No thanks. I don't need to know more, not about who you were. Because as much as you don't think so, I know who you are. A girl I'd like to share a cheeseburger with. Should I get a knife? I'll get a knife.
Sarah: That's not necessary.
[Sarah pulls a knife that's strapped to her leg.]
Chuck: Thanks. That's awesome. And a little disturbing.
Featured Music
Tubthumping by Chumbawamba In 1998, Sarah is in San Diego driving home.
Open Late Weekends by Daniel May Chuck asks Sarah why she never visits the Buy More just as his girlfriend.
Shop Till You Drop by Billy Martin Lester puts into effect his new sales strategy.
Beautiful Disaster by 311 Sarah works out while thinking about her past.
Everybody (Backstreet's Back) by Backstreet Boys Chuck and Sarah arrive at the reunion.
MMMBop by Hanson Dick Duffy at the reunion.
I Don't Want to Wait by Paula Cole Mark tells Chuck he regrets what he's done.
Smack My Bitch Up by The Prodigy Sarah and Heather fight at the reunion.
Episode Trivia
Nicole Richie plays Heather Chandler. A character named Heather Chandler appears in the 1980s high school film Heathers.
When he meets her, Director Graham runs down a lists of Sarah's aliases throughout her childhood with her father. Jennifer Burton is used in San Diego, Katie O'Connell in Wisconsin and Rebecca Frankle in Cleveland. However, she stops him before revealing the name on her birth certificate.
Sarah Lancaster and Ryan McPartlin do not appear in this episode.